Distancing myself

Sometimes I try to do everything - be everything to everyone, and it kills me. I think in life there are people that we encounter that do us absolutely no good and probably do us quite a bit of harm. If we're lucky, those people are people we barely need to know or have a meaningful relationship with and we can just avoid them and they go away. But what about people that become that over time? People we were once close to, but currently act only to pull us down and prevent us from accomplishing our goals.

When I decided to move back to Albany after leaving my job in CT, I made no bones about it - I was moving back to my hometown because I could stay with family, and that was a good business decision for me. I wasn't moving back for a lot of different reasons (I even wrote a post about it way back when).

Fast forward nine months, and overall I have a new appreciation for my home city and the people that I interact with on a day to day basis. I really do love being around them, and I'm glad I came home for this year, regardless of if I end up settling down here or halfway across the world.

But the biggest challenge has been encountering people that I used to have a lot in common with, but now really can't relate to at all. I am proud of all of the choices I've made, but I also understand that they distance me from some people because they just don't understand what I'm doing and why. The great thing is all of the people that I have become closer with because they do get me and they do support me. But I just can't seem to shake some of those people who used to be close with me and have drawn apart from.

I feel like some people I'm around just suck the life out of me. Our relationships provides nothing good at all to me, causes a lot of stress because they "expect" me to do certain things that I want no part of, and I don't think they benefit at all from the relationship. A large portion of people I used to be close friends with have naturally gone their separate ways and we see each other a few times a year and that works awesome. And that's the way I want a few more of my friendships to go. Let's face it - people grow and change and move on to new phases of their lives, and in doing that sometimes they grow apart. I'm cool with that, I just don't know how to bring it up with people that I've known since I was a little kid.

This is something I've been struggling with for a while, and doesn't seem to be getting any better. It's the only thing I really dislike about being home - that expectation that I'm still the same dude I was when I was in high school or college. Much of me is the same, but much of me has also grown and begun doing new things with new people, and those are the relationships that I want to cultivate. There are so many great people in this world that I want the chance to get to know better. What's the point of continuing long term relationships that are pulling both parties down...just for the sake of saying we're still good friends?

I'll let you know if I ever figure out a solution to this, but I have a feeling it's going to be messy and I'm going to come out of it looking like a dick...